i'm not sleeping

bullets

• Do me a favor, if a designer ever asks you what your title is so they can update your business cards, do not be cute and say Captain of Awesome or King of the Underworld. Like I’ve never heard that one before. Besides, we all know I’m Captain of Awesome.
• I have a Christmas tree up in my living room, but nothing on it. I’m going to tell people I’m going for the natural look, and then, hit them in the head with a hammer when they ask me where the lights are…instant magic. 
• I really do like how a tree looks all decorated and lit up, there’s just not enough time in my day lately. 
• Which brings me to another point, what happened to all the time in my day? No, seriously. 
• I have never felt so much like I’m living in Groundhog Day as I do now. I have to be doing something wrong. Right? By the time I work, come home, take my dogs out, workout, and eat, it’s time to go to bed and start over. This wont do. Not at all.
• I’m pretty sure I do 90% of my yoga poses wrong, but I’m too busy praying for the sweet release of death to worry about it. Oh shaddup, like you’re Bendy McBenderson.
• Every time I see the word anti-depressants I think someone is talking shit about dresspants and I get all uppity. And then I realize I’m just illiterate. …And old because I use words like uppity to describe anger. Cool. 
• Hey Christmas magic, you can kick in any time now…aaaany time. 
• My mom just turned 70 and I’m beside myself about that. Seventy. It breaks my heart a little because I suddenly realize how fragile time is. 
• I’ll be glad to put 2011 to bed, but I’m not really counting on 2012 to be any different. “New year.” It’s like telling a bride that it’s good luck when it rains on her wedding day. It’s just shit you say to make yourself feel better. 
• I’m turning 37 in a few weeks and I don’t feel any more of an adult than I did when I turned 18. I still don’t have any answers. And I still feel like I’m chasing down the next best thing, the next good time. Really, what am I doing? 
• My birthstone is jaded. 
• This list sucks. 

This was posted 5 months ago. It has 37 notes.