what are your goals?

Seriously, do you have any?

That’s a funny question when you don’t. My therapy homework is to try and make goals for myself and begin to figure out how to accomplish them. I know, therapy homework, are you serious?! Don’t even get me started. Yeah, ok, goals?! You get your hand slapped back enough times and you stop making them. Goals are for people with normal lives, who actually accomplish things. I’m just not feeling this project, or anything, lately. 

But, ok, back to the homework. I’m not saying I’m sitting here searching the deep crevices of my brain over this, but the only thing I came up with is sanding my floors. I realize I was supposed to start small, but really, Buffy?! You’ll go far with your shiny floors. I see a long future ahead of you with a dust mop and floor wax. Exciting times ahead! I should write for fortune cookies. 

I think therapy is actually making me more depressed. Nothing like being reminded of how far down the hole you really are. And at what point will I be turning a corner? That’s like years from now! Awesome! Just when I start figuring things out, I can check myself into a nursing home where I can attempt to feed myself without a bib and gum down some pudding before TV time and craft hour. I can make myself a paper snowflake with a safety scissors and take it back to my room and stick it to the window and stare at it while I wait for my diaper change or better yet, while I’m catatonic from being molested by Earl the orderly with the neck beard and backne. How’s that for a goal? 

I’m frozen, right here. Every step looks a like a moat filled with crocs, the animal, not the shoes. Although the shoes would be just as terrifying, those things are for people named Maybelle who works at the park district and makes bad PowerPoint presentations. She might have ugly shoes and a terrible knowledge of fonts, but she’s probably got some sweet goals. Fucking bitch. She probably wears overalls and kitten sweaters, too. Godammit!

I may or may not have made myself an eXXtra large white russian this evening. Someone stop me! No, seriously, I’m just pouring alcohol in a glass until it tastes good. Oh shaddup, I don’t have any goals, cut me some slack.

  1. sparkgrrl658 said: i love this post. but i also hate it, because it is me too. even on days when i’m not held back emotionally/mentally, i’m held back by the fact that i can’t get a job, can’t make money, etc. i CAN’T do anything which ends up becoming i don’t WANT to.
  2. ashamedtosay said: Sometimes the goal is to make it to tommorow without a kitten sweatshirt, ,sometimes it is just to be more at peace.
  3. designbuff posted this

NIGHTNIGHT by DEDDY